Saturday, January 18, 2014

A Crappy Week...Or Maybe a NOT-SO-CRAPPY Week....

Without going into too many details, Ella has been really struggling with constipation lately....like for a few weeks, possibly months.  It's awful because I know that it hurts when she goes to the bathroom.  But another part of me wonders, how much of this is for dramatic show?  (Ella, I love you honey, but you occasionally have a flare for being...how can I say this kindly...overdramatic.)  Sometimes she sits on the toilet and quietly cries, other times it's loud, ear-piercing screams.  It's those are the times that I wonder, "Is she seeking attention? Why? What ways can I help that are not feeding into this?"  It's been a lot of questioning on my end with not a lot of answers.  We've gone to the doctor and been reassured that this is extremely common for young children and been given bits of advice.  The advice works short-term, but then the next week, we'd have similar problems.

This week, I reached a breaking point.  Nick worked every night and Ella began really struggling all this week.  She and I have had SUCH a BAD week!  At every opportunity, it seemed like I was disciplining her for what I saw as behavior problems, like lying or purposely avoiding the bathroom.  I was just soooo mad.  Why was she acting this way?  Wasn't I giving her enough attention?  Where am I failing as a mother (because let me tell you at this point, that much was clear-- I.was.failing.)?

Last night, we had more problems than ever.  At one point, Ella was just sobbing, "Mommy, I'm so sorry!  I'm so so sorry!  I didn't mean to!"  It was heartbreaking.  I wasn't yelling at her or disciplining her in any way, but she thought that I would.  I felt terrible.  It became crystal clear that we would need to visit the pediatrician in the morning.

**Let me stop here and say how much I love Dr. Hanson!  Seriously.  LOVE**

I felt like all week, I had these pieces to a puzzle that didn't seem to fit.  Why is Ella literally lying around all the time?  Why isn't she ever sitting at the kitchen table?  Why is having a panic attack when I make her sit or stand instead of lying down?  Why isn't Ella eating?  How come when it seems like she needs to go to the bathroom, she runs to her bedroom?  Why does she repeatedly keep saying, "I have to go to the bathroom.  I forgot, no I don't"?  None of it made any sense to me.  After an exam, Dr. Hanson outlined for me an exact course of action that will last several weeks.  She told me what to look for and how to notice red flags in the future.  

Today I spent a lot of time cuddling with Ella.  I told her how sorry I was.  I said that I didn't know before and I thought she was purposely acting up.  Ella told me it's okay and that she forgives me.  So why am I having such a hard time letting it go?  Already Dr. Hanson's plan is working & Ella seems to be feeling better and our relationship has been restored back to its balance.  I am beyond relieved.  I love you sweet girl. <3

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Wintertime Catch Up

For Christmas, Santa brought the kids an XBOX game where they can walk through Disneyland and ride the rides and walk through the park.  Ella and Eli both love it.  (Although the way they walk through the park makes me nauseous, so I can't really watch them play unless Nick does the walking for them!)

When Brady & Reagan came over, Ella was so excited to show the new game to them.  Here are some pics of them walking through the park and flying through Neverland with Peter Pan.


We had a long winter this year.  At the end of February, there was a snow storm.  Another 12+ inches fell on my first day of spring break at the end of March!  Luckily, both melted away pretty quickly.  Here are some pictures from the Feb. snowstorm.  The one in March was honestly too deep to take the kids out.



We had so much fun!  But it was REALLY cold!
Here's some other fun stuff from this winter:
Playing with Sierra (3/2)
Why, yes, she did put down her apple to lick the chocolate crumbs out of a tiny cake dish....
She IS my child after all....

A leprechaun tricked us!
He colored our chocolate chip pancakes green!
3/22--Eli, you ate Harley's dog treats with her....GROSS!!!!
This is not a first; you are always trying to sneak Scout's dog food & have figured out
which pieces you can eat & which ones are too hard to chew. :-P
For Lent this year, I really tried talk with Ella about the season.  It's really important to me to teach her that we don't just celebrate Christmas and then just jump ahead to Easter.  There was a lot of really important stuff that happened in between all of that.  For Lent this year, I gave up playing games on my phone (this was an enormous sacrifice for me!) and Nick gave up drinking tea (probably a big one for him too) and each day Ella colored in a square on the Lent calendar.  I hope that all of this instills in my kids a sense of excitement and expectancy about Easter that has nothing to do with the Easter bunny or colorful eggs hidden around a backyard.





Normally, all the fuss is over the girls' dresses, so
Kristin & I made matching ties for the boys this year.
They're SO handsome!
Huge Surprise....Eli refused to cooperate for our photo session when
candy was out in plain sight!
And that pretty much wraps up this winter for our family....spring time updates coming soon!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Okay, so it's been awhile.....

Sorry about that kids!  Life has been busy!

I'll do my BEST to try and backlog what we've been doing over the last few months, but for now, here's what we did just this weekend:

Friday, May 17
On the 1st of each month, Nick & I plan dates.  We plan a family date and a couples date.  With him working some nights, it's really hard for us to find time to all spend together and for us to spend time with each other.  Once Ella was born, I found myself incredibly wrapped up in her.  When Eli came along, the feeling intensified.  I think that it is so easy as a parent to spend all of your time looking down at your children (literally I mean, not "looking down" like in judgment), that you forget to look across at your partner, the person you CHOSE to spend your life with and build a family with.  Honestly, I think that's why so many people have kids that leave the house and then realize that they have nothing in common anymore.  I don't want that to happen to us.

Back to the story.  Friday night, we enjoyed a golfing double date with Brian & Denise Stoesz.  We have been friends for probably 10 years already (how is THAT possible?!).  Nick met Brian at Best Buy and we've been friends since we were all just dating.  Golfing ran a little late and we missed meeting up with Dave & Brandy Nieters for dinner.  (SIDENOTE: Brandy, I know you're reading this.  I'm SO sorry!  Check your email today for new rescheduling dates...promise we won't stand you up this time!)  Nick & I ended up at Rookie's, our favorite neighborhood family-friendly bar.  It was such a good night.

Saturday, May 18
Ella had her first experience garage saling and really enjoyed it.  We went with Nick's mom and had a lot of fun.  Mainly Ella loved it because we got such great deals on new clothes, games, and puzzles for her!  Sunday was going to be the busiest day of the weekend, so we spent the rest of the time preparing for it.  That night, we went to Amanda's graduation party.
I don't know how this girl did it!  Honestly, how she kept it all together when she had such a full school schedule, a 6 month old baby, and planned a wedding is beyond me.  But she did it.  And we are so proud of her.  Congrats Amanda!

Sunday, May 19
First was a crazy morning of Nick & me running around to prepare for everything.  We had Ella's & Reagan's dance recital at 1.  On the way there, Ella said, "I'm really scared.  I don't know if I'll do it all."  It was adorable that she was so vocal about her nerves!  Here are a few pics of us getting ready: 
Seriously?  Could she look anymore bored with me?

HUGS! You're going to do great baby!  Don't be nervous!  Just smile and LISTEN!
Performance notes:  Ella did a great job dancing.  She looked really good, honestly.  Who would have expected my kid to be the class clown though?  Before one of the dances, she said, "Um, Miss Kathy, is it okay if give my Pawpaw a hug and a kiss?"  Other quotes include, "Miss Kathy, _____ is not in her spot." and "Um, Miss Kathy, I need to interrupt you for a second....."  What a little ham!  She blew kisses throughout the performance and whispered loudly who they were for "That one was for my Pawpaw all the way in back!" (AKA, the 3rd row)  She also gave patronizing looks and pointed out people for not clapping (like Nick & Danielle because they were video taping or taking pictures), and me for not taking enough pictures!  She is such a handful, but I wouldn't have her any other way.  She is so precious to me.  Here are some more pictures from before the show.  The pictures from the actual recital are on the real camera.  They're better quality....and I probably won't pull those off the camera card for moths....we'll see. :-)



After the dance recital, we immediately went to a park for Eli's 2nd birthday party.  His birthday is actually next weekend, but I couldn't in good conscience put a kid's birthday party on the holiday weekend and expect everyone to show up!  Since Craig & Amanda are getting married the weekend following the holiday, that weekend was out too.  So this made for a pretty busy weekend for the Johnson family!  We went to Oak Creek Park in St. Peters and just played and ate and had fun with family and a few friends.  Here are some pictures of the big celebration.

I love how Brady guides Eli around!  SO CUTE!!!

They were trying to look at birds. :)



Here's the slideshow I put together of Eli this year.  (It is roughly 15 minutes and worth every bit of it!)  He's grown so much and learned to do so many things!  To think that a year ago, he didn't have teeth, barely talked, and didn't walk astounds me!  He didn't even know how to dance yet.  And now just look at what a big boy he is. <3





Whew!  What a weekend!  We are SO looking forward to next weekend and camping.  It's been at least a month since we've been camping & I can't wait!

Monday, March 18, 2013

Ugh....what a day....

*sigh* 

The Diary of a Complainer

How does a whole day get away from you sometimes?  I started out the day like every other day, reading Scripture, in prayer, and optimistic for the day.  So what happened?  Where did it fall apart?  (Kristin suggested perhaps I didn't get enough sleep last night....)

It just wasn't what I wanted; I wasn't the person I wanted to be today....

....in conversations with others--How many times did I drop the F bomb today?  I don't even know.  What?  That's not me.

....in teaching my students--I lost my patience with my students today.  Not in front of them, to their faces, but in complaints about them after they left.  I realized we only have 7 Mondays left this school year....that's NOT ENOUGH TIME.  I need more time with them, focused and productive, every time.

....in cooking dinner--My spaghetti sauce tonight was SO thin and watery.  Gross.  I realize this is such a minor detail, but in a night when comfort food was hoped for, it's not what I needed.

....(and most importantly) in disciplining the kids--ouch.  That one is a tough one to admit.  Ella and Eli, you both got several time outs and spankings tonight.  It kills me that IF you learned a lesson today, it was probably "When Mommy is crabby, stay away," instead of what I was trying to teach you about listening when I ask you to do something.  "Eli, get your hands out of the dog bowl! GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF THE DOG'S WATER DISH!!!!"  "Ella, clean up your room.  It'd better be clean by the time I get in there!  ELLA! THIS ROOM IS NOT CLEAN!"

I tried to take a hot shower to relax and let go of the day's events.  And shampoo got in my eye!  Boo.

*sigh*

Ella gave me a good hug tonight when I tucked her in and I breathed in the moment, and I know I'll do better tomorrow.

Just in case Kristin was right, I'll go to bed now.....

PS--So much has happened since the last blog!  One of my spring break goals is to catch it up....I guess we'll see next week....


Saturday, January 12, 2013

It's that time of year.....

Random Stuff around our house.....

Here's Ella with curlers in her hair for the first time.  She actually wasn't patient enough to wait for them to curl her hair, so it ended up straight anyway.  But I thought these were adorable pics anyway....

Ella & I decorated the tree this year.  Eli quickly undecorated it for us.  Here are just a few of the ornaments he'd pulled off in the first hour.  There were more than what is pictured though.   Within the next few days, I tried telling him no and giving him time-outs (that didn't work), I tried making it a game and having him put the ornaments back on (that didn't work either).  I settled for moving all of our ornaments up and having an overly crowded top half, with a bare bottom half.  Whatever works I guess....

Cochise!  My you've been up to some crazy antics this year!  
Here he is riding a stocking holder through the Christmas village.  Giddyup!

And on this day, he drew a picture on Ella's "I love you because" bored.  Oh Cochise!  She loved this surprise.

 This is one of my favorite gifts this holiday season.  Mom & dad got us an Advent wreath.  Now we can share with the kids all of the excitement and expectancy of the Advent season instead of them just believing that Christmas is one day about presents.  This gift means a lot to me because I get to pass something on to my kids.  I'm excited for this wreath to become a family tradition.
That's all for now!

The days leading up to Thanksgiving

Coming home from Nebraska, Eli still had a cough.  The whole family was dealing with something, but I just didn't like the way it kept hanging onto Eli, for well over 3 weeks.  We left Omaha on Saturday morning, and every cough I heard, I kept saying to Nick, "Please take him to the dr on Monday.  I don't like how he sounds."  On Sunday, we had planned to go visit baby Austin and let the kids meet him for the first time.
Instead, Eli had a fever and we spent the day at home.  He was extremely tired all day, and we were SURE that he would have to go to the dr on Monday.  His nose was running like crazy and the cough was persistent.

On Mondays, Nick stays home with the kids.  I went to work and called at about 9 to check in.  Nick said Eli seemed to be doing better, so he hadn't called the office yet.  I begged for him to call anyway.  Momma-intuition said something just wasn't right.  Nick took him to the pediatrician, who sent them for a chest X-ray.    Eli tested negative for RSV and flu, but his blood oxygen levels were lower than Dr. Hanson would like to see.  She sent the boys home with a nebulizer.

By the time I got home in the afternoon, Eli had several treatments, and he was making raspy sounds with his quick short breaths.  Nick and I both thought that this was normal behavior for a nebulizer.  The dr called and said that the chest X-rays came back negative for pneumonia.

On Tuesday, I went to school (Nick stays home on Tuesdays with the kids as well and I had to run a meeting at school) and had a chance to talk to our Health Related Occupations teacher, Angel.  I knew the dr saw Eli the day before, but still, something just wasn't sitting right with me.  I talked with Angel about my concerns and what I should do.  She told me what to look for in his breathing and what a red flag would look like and when I should call the dr again.

That afternoon, Eli took an extra long nap.  When he woke up, I just didn't like how fast he was breathing or how loud his breathing was.  I decided I would rather be "that mom" who is viewed as annoying and high maintenance than to just spend the entire not wondering. Luckily the office was open later in the evening than normal.  However, they were about to close, and I had to hurry.  I called and talked to the nurse and asked if it was normal for Eli to be breathing as quickly as he was since he was on the nebulizer.  She said no, not really and asked me to count his breaths.  I don't know how to do that, so I just held up the phone.  I really didn't like her response when she said, "Um....why don't you go ahead and bring him in."

Nick was working at this point, so I hustled up both kids and got them in the car. This dr visit turned out to be terrifying for me.  The first nurse came in and checked Eli's vitals.  She checked his blood oxygen level twice, then called in another nurse.  "Hmmm...." was the response from the 2nd nurse when she checked his levels again.  She gave Eli a breathing treatment and called in a 3rd nurse.  At this point, I was thinking, "Well, that's odd.  Why do they keep checking?  We've never had 3 nurses help us before."  Soon 2 nurses left and were talking in the hallway saying, "Where is Dr. Dunn?"  "Room 4 with a patient."  "Go ahead and get her.  We need her here."  Say wha???? My fears were being confirmed.  The 3 nurses weren't just there to be helpful.  Something was wrong with Eli.  I tried to push this fear down, way down, far away from my conscious brain, because I had some things to do.  I had a 4 year old who was scared and needed some reassurance about what was happening and a baby who was kicking the blood ox reader off his foot and screaming during his breathing treatment.

Dr. Dunn came in immediately and looked at the levels and put Eli on higher levels of oxygen.  She took SUCH good care of us.  She was so nurturing to Eli while she carefully explained to me what would happen.  She said that there just wasn't enough oxygen in his blood.  He would need to go to a hospital.  I was envisioning maybe going to an ER for a few hours.  I was already telling myself, "Okay, you can't cry while you take him there.  Be calm.  Just a few hours."  But I asked how long we'd be there, worried about Ella getting to bed on time.  Dr. Dunn's face softened as she told me that we'd likely be in the hospital for at least 48 hours.  Okay.....keep it together......then came the hardest news.  I wasn't going to be able to drive Eli to the hospital, an ambulance would have to take us.  What????  How could this be that he is in SUCH bad shape that we not only have to go to a hospital, but to get there in an ambulance? Worse, Ella wouldn't be able to ride with us, so what was I going to do with her?  One nurse took Ella to the waiting room with a coloring sheet (Thank you for getting her out so I could cry without her seeing!).  Another pulled the car seats out of my car (Thank you!).  The last nurse stayed with me while Dr. Dunn called the hospital and the ambulance (thank you ladies!).

I tried calling Nick, but couldn't get ahold of him.  Through my tears, I called Kristin saying, "I need you.  You have to get here.  You have to come get Ella.  An ambulance is taking me & Eli to the hospital."  Thank you Kristin for getting there immediately, no questions asked. Thank you for keeping Ella calm for the whole time we were away from her.  I thought Ella would think it was neat that her brother got to ride in an ambulance, but as it turns out....nope.  It totally freaked her out instead.

I rode in the ambulance to Progress West Hospital.  Nick met us there and we waited in the ER for a few hours for the drs and nurses to monitor Eli's breathing and his oxygen levels.

  We waited and waited......Eli didn't like the breathing mask, but really did little to stop it.  He was SO tired.  He slept most of the time, which scared me even more.  Nick & I did a pretty decent job holding it together at this point, but I could tell how scared he was too when we talked.  So we spent a decent amount of time not talking about what was happening.

After several hours, we were admitted into the hospital and got to go upstairs for the night.  The next day, Eli began to regain SOME of his strength.  He was starting to get really mad about the breathing mask.  We had to put him on a breathing tube.  He hated this worse, and tried ripping it off many times, but it was securely taped down.

Memaw Johnson came to visit and brought some toys.  Eli couldn't stay awake long, but when he was awake, he wanted to play.




These pictures were taken on Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  We had settled ourselves in for a long stay. The nurses said that we could HOPE to get out on Friday.  We sent out texts to our friends and family asking them to pray for healing for Eli.

On Thursday morning, we had much to be thankful for.  A dr woke us up in the morning saying that Eli had made it through the night without needing any oxygen and we would get to go home on Thanksgiving.  What?  This is what we had hoped for, but the last thing we expected.  We were overjoyed.

We picked Ella up and went home.  And stayed there for awhile in our own little Johnson family bubble.  Family members came over and dropped off Thanksgiving leftovers so we could eat with little effort for a few days, but we pretty much just stayed inside, scared to go somewhere with germs that could infect Eli.  He didn't leave the house for a week.

It sounds incredibly cheesy to say, (I am completely aware of that), but I changed as a parent during those few days in the hospital.  Eli developed pneumonia in less than 24 hours between dr visits.  I decided that from now on, I don't care if I'm the overbearing, high maintenance mom who keeps calling the dr.  If that's what it takes to put my mind at ease and not second-guess every decision, then that's what I would do.  I won't second guess myself next time, but I feel like I will do a better job of seeing when something is really wrong with my kids.  I saw how fast prayer can work too.  And on Thanksgiving, we all might say how happy we are for our families to be in good health, but this year, we realized how blessed we really are.  Eli was in the hospital for a few days, but he was better.  We are so fortunate.

Love you little man!  We are so happy you are back to your normal, ornery Dennis-the-Menace self. <3



Austin's Arrival!

Austin Walker Johnson decided to make his big debut about 2 weeks early on Nov. 7, 2012.

6 lbs.  11 oz. 
1:39 PM

We are so excited for Craig & Amanda!  I can't believe they're parents!  Ella & Eli are SO excited about their new cousin!