Confidence and Germs

I joined a gym this week in an attempt to get back in shape.  My weight is the same as it was before Ella, but having a baby or two takes its toll on a body.  Some of the most important things that I want to pass onto Ella are a good self-esteem and self-confidence in her body.  I spent my childhood in what can I suppose only be described as a mousy attitude towards life.  I was too afraid to ever stop anyone from doing things that I knew were wrong or to speak up for myself.  I so badly want to build Ella up so that she does speak up for herself and she does step in and stand up for what is right.  So what does all of this have to do with me joining a gym?  After I had Eli, despite what the number on the scale or even what my husband said, my body didn't look the same and I didn't like it.  Frequently I would have thoughts like, "Ugh, look at that" when I looked in the mirror, but I made sure to censor them in front of Ella.  If I ever heard her say the same thing when she looked in the mirror, it would break my heart.  And then it occurred to me....I shouldn't have to censor my thoughts like that because I shouldn't be having them.  It's not healthy and I needed a change.  Getting out of the house for a few hours a week is hard.  Every time, Ella tells me how much she's going to miss me, and the whole thing has to be scheduled around Nick's work.  These are not the easiest of obstacles to overcome.  But somehow, I've managed, 5 times now (there was a 3 day trial....I haven't gone 5 times this week...that'd be just CRAZY!).  In any case, I feel like this is something that's worth it.  And I'm going to do my best to keep it up, because if that's what I have to do to get the body I want so I can be confident in it, and impart that on to my daughter, then it's what I have to do.

And on a lighter note....I think I'm going to take up sewing.  I'm super excited to start this new hobby.  I'm hoping to make gifts for Baby Austin (this is Craig & Amanda's baby's name for now in case they for some reason drastically change their minds later and in the future no one knows who I'm referencing).

And a funny story from a few weeks ago (6/23).  I didn't have time to blog it, but I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget.......I needed to shower and shave, so I thought I'd put Eli in the bathroom with me to keep him "safe."  What could happen with glass doors and Ella's help, right?  EPIC FAILURE.  Even after removing germy hazards, my son still found all of the grossest places in the bathroom, including: running his bink along the bottom and corner of the shower, then after getting a new one, throwing it in the trash (how did I not pick that up?!) and before I could get it away, getting it out of the trash and putting it on top of the toilet, then putting his MOUTH on the TOILET!  Ugh....I was half tempted to give him some alcohol to sanitize his mouth!  So grossed out.....