Yesterday's Dr. Appt

I promised myself that I would not be "That Girl" this time around.  I swore to myself that I would not let it happen.  I refused to be the one who left the dr's office in tears after a disheartening dr. appt.  And yet....it happened.

Here's how yesterday unfolded:

1.   "Carla?"
      "Yes?"
      "Go ahead and put down your things and we'll weigh you."
      "Okay."  It's worth mentioning that although this is never a pleasant moment, it also doesn't typically bother me.  However when I glanced down to see my current weight, I honestly thought the nurse was mistaken.  4 lbs in 7 days?  How is that possible considering I'd say my appetite has decreased over the last few weeks?  Don't get me wrong, my weight gain for the overall pregnancy is still nothing to worry about (up to 15 lbs now) and I'm not one of those people who even worries about weight AT ALL when I'm pregnant, but 4 lbs in 7 days?!

2.  The exam--another unpleasant moment.  I'll skip the details, but basically not much is different than last week despite the increase in frequency and intensity of contractions.  Grrrr....

I think at this point, I still would have kept my promise of not being That Girl.  However, disheartening moment #3 was just too much.

3.  Dr. Puckett went to listen to Eli's heartbeat and couldn't find it at first.  I want to take a second and stress that everything is fine.  However, I'm working on 38 weeks pregnant here.  In the 30 or so prenatal appointments that I've with Dr. Puckett (between Ella and Eli both), he's NEVER had a problem finding the heartbeat.  It's almost immediate every single time.  I would say this was probably 45-60 seconds of looking.  I know that doesn't sound like much, but those moments are absolutely terrifying.  Admist logical reassurances from my brain, "You just felt him moving this afternoon.  Everything is fine.  Puckett will find it," doubt still creeps in -- "It doesn't matter that I felt him moving this afternoon.  Why can't we hear a heartbeat now?"  Next comes the flood of panic, "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, help!"

Even though everything is fine, I'm going to blame the tears on those paniced moments.  On the bright side, Puckett said that if Eli doesn't make his big debut this week, at next week's appt, we'll schedule an induction.  That makes me happy. :)  I believe that May 31 is the first day that I'd be able to be induced.  I'm aware that it's still 2 weeks away, but it sounds closer when I think, "Next week we'll set it up though." :D  Eli-You still have two weeks, but I'd really appreciate a little bit of a hustle here...